Wednesday, August 11, 2010

What attracts a woman to a man?

I've often thought about this over the years, especially in my earlier years
before I met Mrs C, my wife. When she came along, I instantly thought:
"She's the one for me ~ she's really extra special!", and fortunately for
me, she thought & felt the same.

Well, what are the magic ingredients for getting started in a relationship,
I wonder ... a certain rapport when talking with each other, or how we
relate in body language or feel physically attracted, or something in the
pheromones ... how we smell even (I'm splashing on Chanel's Allure, at
this moment!)..... or is it something more down-to earth ... "Ooh, just
look at the shelves he's put up!" (so he's a good nest-builder)?

How about the fact that he's a good listener and doesn't prattle on about
all his achievements, and that he's good at establishing eye contact?
(I've heard that all this is important).

On my way to the chemist's this morning to buy Mrs C some wax earplugs (so
she can get some sleep while I'm snoring!), I was thinking about an ex-
patient of mine, a very attractive man in his mid-thirties, a part-time
university lecturer and a Ph.D. student, who used to visit me from time to
time to get some medication for phobic anxiety. He told me that his parents
divorced when he was a child, and that this was the reason why he didn't
wish to commit himself to any long-term relationships with women - he tended
to end a relationship about 6 months into it.

It was as if a curse had been put on him by the failure of his parents'
marriage, though it was his personal choice to end a relationship after a
short time, rather than it possibly fail in later life ... no doubt, to save
him the agony of possible separation and divorce.

It was he who told me that a woman is attracted to a bloke if he's got the
four Cs ... a Career, a Credit card (presumably credit-worthy rather than
up to his ears in debt), a Car and lastly, Commitment ... none of which he
said he had himself. I thought that he was rather doing himself down, as he
had no problem in attracting woman really. Anyway, I would add to his four
Cs: being Caring (& Considerate), and having personal Charm /Chemistry /

I've got all of these of course, and James Bond's looks.

Here endeth Justin's Delusional Ramble.


Blogger Keith said...

You forgot to add that you are an extremely modest sort of a chap too!


8:01 AM  
Blogger justin said...

Thanks for reminding me about that, Keith. I'm incredibly modest. :)

9:36 AM  
Blogger justin said...

... and a GSOH too.

9:38 AM  
Blogger Keith said...

Good Standard of Hygiene? I should hope so too!

8:01 PM  
Blogger Betsy said...

Well, you ARE charming..and I'm sure Mrs. C spotted that right away! ;)

I like your list of C's better than the poor misguided chap's list much better!

and don't forget communication and compassion. :)

12:57 PM  
Blogger justin said...

I hope I've got a good sense of hygiene, Keith, though my sense of smell is not as good as it used to be.
Thanks, Betsy, for your kind comments and for your extras Cs. I think Mrs C would wish me to be more attentive when she speaks to me, as I'm easily distracted.

6:44 AM  
Blogger Kimber said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

11:58 PM  
Blogger Kimber said...

Oh Justin, how I love your rambles. You've definitely got the charm. (0: I think it's lovely that you and Mrs. have been happy together for so many years.

I used to think that for a marriage to succeed, you had to be best friends with the other person. Well, I had that - but after my 1st marriage blew apart, I've come to realize 4 years into my very happy 2nd marriage that chemistry is also very important! That, and something my now-husband told me before we got engaged: "Kimmy, we have to want the same things." So simple, so true.

11:58 PM  
Blogger justin said...

Thanks for your lovely comments, Kimmy. I think there has to be something magical about the chemistry too ... a bit more than what you have in common ... though similar interests & values are a great help.

10:58 PM  

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