Thursday, July 03, 2008

Mona Lot

We all like a good moan about things don’t we?

Why, if we didn’t, then newspapers would be half as bulky,
and doctors’ surgeries would be almost empty.

Are you Mr/Ms Neg or are you Mr/Ms Overjoyed?

I was thinking about this while doing the washing up the
other day … thinking that we’re all somewhere on the
manic-depressive spectrum … though some of us may be off
the scale, and reside in a mental hospital.

My position on the scale varies from day to day, often
affected by how sunny / rainy / cold it is outside.

I’ve been watching a couple of repeat showings of Room 101
on the telly, where celebrities were invited to tell us
about their pet hates.

In one episode, Paul Merton interviewed Dara O'Briain
… and it was the funniest I’ve seen … they’re both
incredibly articulate, and I think they're comic geniuses.

One of Dara’s pet hates was children’s TV presenters …
he used to be one himself, and he said that behind all
the fake cheerfulness, was a deep hatred of one’s fellow
presenters … he felt that they were all too competitive
and ready to stab each other in the back (not literally).

What about pet hates … and how on earth was that phrase
invented … your most hated pets?

Bloggers often list 10 or 50 things they love doing.
However, I don’t see many lists of things they hate.
If you were to go on Room 101, what would your top five
hates be, I wonder?

Now, what do I dislike the most? What would I consign to
Room 101?

Game & quiz shows on the telly, especially University
(Snobs) Challenge
and Anne Robinson’s The Weakest Link,

… but not Who Wants to be a Millionaire (especially
the episodes where celebs raise money for charities).

Queuing up for almost half an hour at our main Post Office,
thanks to its management’s decision to close a lot of our
local post offices and the laisser-faire attitude of the
Labour Government. Talk about bread queues in former
communist Russia … it will be like that here soon, just
to post a parcel or to buy a postal order.

Nuclear weapons … take care using that lever, Paul, when
you drop the bomb into Room 101.

Private health care, private dentistry and private schools …
get rid of these and improve our state systems instead...
and I'll also toss into Room 101, private railway companies …
let’s renationalise the lot and introduce heavily
state-subsidised, cheaper rail travel, to encourage folk
to use their cars less.

Perhaps I should go off and join the Green Party?

My last moan is about 08457 telephone numbers (and the like),
whereby businesses (and government agencies) make money out of
keeping us in a long telephone queue. I spent 17 minutes
yesterday afternoon waiting to get through to Nationwide's
call centre, after which I gave up and put the phone down ...
so Nationwide made 60p out of that.

There should be a government decree banning such numbers
(except for porn lines), making businesses give out the free
0800 numbers instead. Alliance and Leicester are very good in
this respect ... on the back of its credit card is an 0800
number by which you can access all their banking services
free of charge.

Here endeth today's moans.


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