Our prayers are being answered ...

I'm pleased to see that one of our local churches is keeping up
with the times. It now looks as though the Great Almighty is
becoming more accessible, instead of moving around in mysterious
ways (dispatching plagues of frogs and locusts our way & setting
fire to things). I hope God has a sense of humour, or I'll be
roasting in Hell one day.

I think the Pope should publish his personal email address and
mobile phone number, so we can all be on closer terms with God.
But then who needs these modern electronic aids, if indeed God is
all around us and can hear our every word (and read our minds too).

It may be that one day, churches will become obselete. We will be
given the option of flicking over to the God Channel on Sky or
cable TV, and say our prayers or all join in with the karaoke,
in front of the TV screen.

Just imagine singing along to "Oh God our help in ages past.."
in the style of an American rapper with a really funky but erratic
beat ... plus cool moves, of course.

As for weddings and christenings, these could be done at drive-
thru centres, where you sign bits of paper and get to choose from
selection of wedding rings, or get sprinkled with some holy
Mc-water... the baby and everyone else. (Visa and Mastercard welcome,
but no cheques, please).

And as for confessionals ... simply send off a text... "Oh Holy
Father -- forgive me for I have sinned... for I have covetted my
neighbour's wife's ass."

Back comes the text reply: "Pls send photo, so I can see the
size of the problem how depraved U R."

I'm blogging off to the seaside at Cromer this weekend ... will
be back the following Saturday. Talk to you soon, folks.