Sunday, April 06, 2008

Doggy-doos (& let the punishment fit the crime)

I felt inspired to write something about this, after reading an
excellent post on the subject by Scary Duck, a week ago.

Dog mess ... what can be done about it?

Several times a year I manage to put my foot in it, especially
when it's cunningly disguised by a generous covering of golden
brown autumn leaves. And, while you can scrape most of it off,
on a grassy verge or the edge of a pavement, the worst part is
having to gouge the muck out of the grooves in the sole of your
shoe... and then give the shoe a good scrub in warm soapy water.
While all this is going on, you're wobbling around on just one
leg with your other foot up in the air (trying not to get it wet).

And then there's the scenario, of sitting down to a meal without
realising there's dog poo on one of your shoes, until that
unmistakable shitty smell of dog poo wafts up your nose. Yuck!

(I apologise if you're eating while reading this at the moment).

The conscientious dog owner will pick up fresh dog turds on the
twice daily walk with his / her dog ... the thought of picking
up a cluster of warm dog turds with your hand inside a thin
polythene bag, revolts me. And even if you take a pooper-scooper
with you to shovel it up, what do you do with the pooper-scooper
afterwards? Put it inside a tatty old bag, for re-use later in
the day?

And what can we do with the irresponsible dog owner, who doesn't
clear up the doggy-doos afterwards ... or who allows the dog to
roam around the neighbourhood so it can crap anywhere it likes?

From time to time (usually around local election time), this becomes
a hot political issue ... often appearing in the election leaflets.

"The latest on our Nottingham City streets ... dog poo ... an
increasing menace!!"
"Man slips on a pile of dog excrement, and breaks his leg".
"Rid our streets of dog mess" ... "Vote for our Candidate"!

My parents had a dog during my teeenage years ... a black and white
mongrel called Nibs. My mum very quickly "house-trained" it, by
giving it a very good telling off, while forcibly rubbing its nose
in its own wee or poo. Having said that she often let Nibs run around
the nearby local council parkland, and let it wee and poo where it
liked ... we weren't so poo-aware in those days, I think (I'm talking
about the late 50s to early 60s).

So I'm coming round to suggesting a short sharp punishment for
offending dog owners ... rounding them up and taking them for
a good session of rubbing their noses in it, followed by a cold
face wash by having a bucket of cold water thrown over them.
Bars of soap and stiff brushes would be available for use ...
the old fashioned soap & brushes that were used for scrubbing
concrete floors and doors steps with, (you may know what I'm
referring to).

A short sharp shock should sort the buggers out.

As for possible infesation with Toxocara worms from the dog shit ...
I would say: "Tough titty".

(Oh dear ... I'm beginning to sound like an ultra right-wing member
of a certain political party ... next I'll be saying, "Bring back
hanging / birching / flogging / burning at the stake / off with the
goolies" :)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am with you on this one, we walk a lot and while you are looking at the floor so that you miss the poo, you miss the wonderful views around you. It's not easy getting poo out of walking boots.


5:19 AM  
Blogger justin said...

Hi LOM -- ideally you need to have one eye on the ground and the other on the lovely view.
We've had a similar problem on the rare occasion we go out for country walks - walking across fields trying to avoid treading in fresh cow poo. :)

9:07 PM  
Blogger angel said...

dude, i could not agree more!

6:06 AM  

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