Friday, March 09, 2007

Of course, there's Life on Mars!

How could I forget that brilliant TV detective series, Life on Mars?
Poor old DI Sam Tyler -- sent back in time to 1973, when
apparently CCTV didn't exist, well not on the city streets anyway.

I find the plots are somewhat feeble and predictable, but it's great
to watch -- I certainly feel that I'm back in 1970s Britain, while I'm
watching, and I think the acting is great.

Thinking about space exploration, and sending a probe or a sniffer
dog (a Beagle) all the way to Mars -- I can understand scientists
getting a buzz out of looking at some samples of rock or dust sent
back from Mars -- but who on earth would ever want to visit such a
hell-hole! Life would have to be utterly intolerable here, for me to

set off on a voyage into outer space.

If I were a spaceman, I can imagine that it would be fairly easy to
eat and drink, but how would I go about having a pee or a poo,
without it going all over the place? And how does a spaceman wipe
his bum afterwards? Does he have to sit in a poo-filled nappy
during
parts of the flight -- or is he catheterised in some way?

I'm sure these topics would be suitable for a future episode of Blue
Peter, a children's TV programme, as kids like adults are curious to

find out about these things. They'd no doubt like to know more
about the famous Royal wee and the Royal poo -- are they the
same as
those of us, their loyal subjects? And which brand of bog
roll do the Royals
like to use -- and does the bog roll have a label
on it, saying
"By appointment to Her Majesty The Queen"?

Does the Queen
have lav attendants, I wonder? ... Knights of the
Bogs, processing up
and down the corridors, in ceremonial costume?
I can't imagine her ladies-in-waiting having to don rubber gloves to

set about scrubbing the Royal loos, or popping out to Tesco Metro
for a can of air freshener.

Sorry about all this ... I'm rambling again.

5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Space Bog: 23hundred hours...somewhere over(insert appropriate ocean/continent(sic) here)...an astronaut needs to 'go'...for more space deficatory info than you will ever need to poke a weightless bog roll at go here

And...way back when the Queen opened the 1974 Commonwealth Games here in NZ they built a grand convenience for the royal bottom behind the saluting platform, for something upward of $7,500NZ a HUGE sum at that time. It was never used ;)....

5:13 AM  
Blogger angel said...

rambling maybe- entertaining definitely- funny... absolutely!

1:13 PM  
Blogger justin said...

Many thanks, Anon and Angel.
I've often thought about how space-folk go about relieving themselves when in space, and clean themselves up afterwards.
I wonder if a crew member gets any privacy when he/she has to go, as onboard space must be very limited, and must get smelly. "Hey, Uri, pass me some blogroll would you, please?"

11:51 PM  
Anonymous edt said...

Blogger made me anon for some odd reason?...:)

1:56 AM  
Blogger Max said...

I don't like today (2007). Maybe if I jump in front of a car. Maybe, just maybe, I might get transported back to 1973 (please God).

Jes kidding! Would be nice though. To revisit the seventies. Not the bit about hurling oneself in front of a jamjar though. :)

It's 1973. I'm your guv'nor and it's lunch time. I'm 'aving 'oops!

5:09 PM  

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