Dying for a pee

There is something rather comical about urinary incontinence,
for anyone who doesn’t suffer from the condition – but it’s
not so funny for those who do. I’ve yet to “lose control”, but
I’ve reached the age where I can’t go very far from a loo if I
drink a cup of strong coffee, which is one of the things I
love to do.

Our daughter L lives in South Wimbledon, and it takes me
3 ½ hours to drive down there from Nottingham, driving at
a leisurely speed and with one or two loo stops on the way.
We go by the M1 most of the way, and go round London
past Heathrow on the M25, and go off at Junction 10 up the
A3 to Wimbledon.

The trouble with the last stretch on the M25 and A3 is that
there are no loo stops – and this part of the journey can take
us about an hour, if there are no major traffic jams.

If I drink coffee on the way down to London, then I end up
stopping off at all the service stations and then dashing
into L’s house for a pee at the other end. I can drink tea
with no such effects – I can manage with just one loo stop
for the entire journey of 160 miles.

So yesterday morning about an hour before we set off home
from London, I made the mistake of having a cup of coffee.

You might be able to guess what happened next … by the
time we arrived at the Junction 10 on the M25, I was getting
desperate to find a loo. The traffic was very heavy by this
time, and on the overhead noticeboards were warnings
about a major accident on the M25 with road closure … so
we also needed to stop to get the road map out of the car
boot. I sped on, on the A3, and carried on south towards
Guildford to find the nearest lay-by.

Fortunately I was able to stop the car a few minutes later,
alongside a woodland area with lots of rhododendron cover.
Unfortunately for me, I stumbled on some rough grass and
sprained my right ankle, and then had to jump across a
steeply-sided ditch to get into the woodland, and then do
the same on the way back.

Though I’d got instant relief in one sense, I ended up with
prolonged pain in my ankle for the rest of the journey home.
I’m still hobbling around today (staying indoors today, for
obvious reasons).

Oh well ..... c’est la vie.