A few thoughts about poo
A few thoughts about poo for you. I’ve thought
for some years that the makers of high-fibre
cereals must be in league with the toilet paper
manufacturers. I’ll spare you the messy details,
but my use of bog roll has doubled or trebled
since I went onto a high-fibre diet.
I wonder when toilet paper came into general
use? What did ancestors of the Royal Family
use before Izal toilet paper came on the scene
... something to clean up the Royal poo and the
Royal wee?
I wonder if one of the toilet paper manufacturers
applied to use the logo, “By Appointment to Her
Majesty The Queen”? Perhaps we were not amused?
An ex-boyfriend of one of my sisters, who was
of Arabic origin, said that in his home country,
he used to carry a small bottle of water in one
of his pockets, to wash himself with by hand
after having a poo. When you think about it, the
millions of people who are desperately poor and
facing starvation, won’t be thinking about going
to their nearest shop to get a roll of Andrex.
And so here is an obvious reason why diarrhoeal
illness and deaths are so common in poorer
countries.
I heard one good preventative measure for
avoiding getting diarrhoea when travelling in
India, and that was to drink tea. Boiling the
drinking water helps kill off the germs.
I’ve had my fair share of diarrhoeal illness
in the past, including spending one week ill in
bed in London (when I was on holiday), after
shaking hands with a relative who had just
recovered from a Salmonella infection. I was so
ill, I could hardly get out of bed. So I’m not
keen to travel to third world countries, where
I’m more likely to get infected again.
Here's something you might find amusing...
I’ve found that massaging my lower back while
having a poo, speeds up the whole process.
Try doing some downward strokes, down the
spine in your lower back (lumbo-sacral area),
when you next go to the loo, and let me know
if this works for you. I imagine that the
Chinese may have discovered this a few
millennia ago, but I haven’t read about it or
heard about it before. If you think about the
pleasant effect of massaging yourself in the
genital area, it’s not surprising that
massaging your lower back might affect the
rectal area.
Those of you who are anal types like me .. the
name “computer nerd” or “blogger” sounds better,
doesn’t it... might like to work out how many
hours you spend each year having a crap. I
reckon I spend about 30 hours ... what a waste
of time.
for some years that the makers of high-fibre
cereals must be in league with the toilet paper
manufacturers. I’ll spare you the messy details,
but my use of bog roll has doubled or trebled
since I went onto a high-fibre diet.
I wonder when toilet paper came into general
use? What did ancestors of the Royal Family
use before Izal toilet paper came on the scene
... something to clean up the Royal poo and the
Royal wee?
I wonder if one of the toilet paper manufacturers
applied to use the logo, “By Appointment to Her
Majesty The Queen”? Perhaps we were not amused?
An ex-boyfriend of one of my sisters, who was
of Arabic origin, said that in his home country,
he used to carry a small bottle of water in one
of his pockets, to wash himself with by hand
after having a poo. When you think about it, the
millions of people who are desperately poor and
facing starvation, won’t be thinking about going
to their nearest shop to get a roll of Andrex.
And so here is an obvious reason why diarrhoeal
illness and deaths are so common in poorer
countries.
I heard one good preventative measure for
avoiding getting diarrhoea when travelling in
India, and that was to drink tea. Boiling the
drinking water helps kill off the germs.
I’ve had my fair share of diarrhoeal illness
in the past, including spending one week ill in
bed in London (when I was on holiday), after
shaking hands with a relative who had just
recovered from a Salmonella infection. I was so
ill, I could hardly get out of bed. So I’m not
keen to travel to third world countries, where
I’m more likely to get infected again.
Here's something you might find amusing...
I’ve found that massaging my lower back while
having a poo, speeds up the whole process.
Try doing some downward strokes, down the
spine in your lower back (lumbo-sacral area),
when you next go to the loo, and let me know
if this works for you. I imagine that the
Chinese may have discovered this a few
millennia ago, but I haven’t read about it or
heard about it before. If you think about the
pleasant effect of massaging yourself in the
genital area, it’s not surprising that
massaging your lower back might affect the
rectal area.
Those of you who are anal types like me .. the
name “computer nerd” or “blogger” sounds better,
doesn’t it... might like to work out how many
hours you spend each year having a crap. I
reckon I spend about 30 hours ... what a waste
of time.
posted by justin at 7:04 am
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5 Comments:
apropoos of things dung related I found meself google image seaching outhouse and outhouse view some months ago, I forget why, but it makes for some interesting images/structures. There's an urban myth, but possible truth here in NZ that the designers of the Queen Elizabeth 2 Stadium(Commonwealth games 1974) built a VERY sumptuous loo behind the saluting dais for her Royal Highness, to the tune of tens of thousands of dollars, which was never used...ummm eerrr..by the royal bottom.
Justin, this seems like plagiarism.
I'll refer you to my recent posts on the same subject beginning here. http://tjilpi.typepad.com/tjilpi/2006/05/shaking_hands.html
If you follow the comments and subsequent posts you'll see that you and I agree about a lot of things!!
Cheers
Greg
I think in the years gone by Royalty had wipers a man or woman would be in waiting with the water and the cloth to do whatever was neccesary,it was usualy someone of high ranking because to be with a King or Queen in such a vunerable position it needed to be.
on a personal note I use paper and baby wipes, they are always handy in the toilet, it just makes me feel that bit cleaner.
as for diet lots of high fibre veg, cabbage etc, and a good curry(home made) twice a week and everything is ok.
nice to have you back Justin.
What a crap post, Justin! (Sorry, couldn't resist... :)
I echo Andrea's sentiments but a bit more strongly: what a steaming pile of sh*t that was!!! :-)
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