Nottingham in the news again
Well, what do you know, Nottingham has been in
the news yesterday for its high level of criminal
activity. Well, surprise, surprise – we have to
live up to our reputation as the home town/county
for Robbin Hood and his Merry Men.
Hardly a day goes by when I don’t see shootings
in the main city streets - people staggering
out of the city bars riddled with bullet holes,
and dropping dead in the street. It’s like the
Wild West here. Gunfights galore, with frequent
re-enactments of the final showdown in “High Noon”.
I recommend to you the window seats in the glass-
fronted café at the Central Methodist Mission on
Parliament Street - an excellent viewing point.
Good trade as usual for the local undertakers and
the coffin makers … business is booming. And all
the prostitutes, pimps and drug dealers loitering
round the city streets, waiting for business, and
waving their ASBOs at passing police cars. Tony
Blair’s relaxation of the pub drinking hours hasn’t
helped matters, as drunkenness is markedly on the
increase. The city’s bad litter problem pales into
insignificance.
And what is the Sheriff of Nottingham doing about
it? The only time I saw him was about three years
ago, when he opened Nottingham’s Goose Fair (dressed
in ceremonial costume). What are we paying him for?
Why doesn’t he get his act together and dress up like
Wyatt Earp, and swagger down the streets fully armed,
along with his deputies?
Perhaps Nottingham should be renamed as Dodge City?
Bring back hanging, I say, or "off with the goolies"!
the news yesterday for its high level of criminal
activity. Well, surprise, surprise – we have to
live up to our reputation as the home town/county
for Robbin Hood and his Merry Men.
Hardly a day goes by when I don’t see shootings
in the main city streets - people staggering
out of the city bars riddled with bullet holes,
and dropping dead in the street. It’s like the
Wild West here. Gunfights galore, with frequent
re-enactments of the final showdown in “High Noon”.
I recommend to you the window seats in the glass-
fronted café at the Central Methodist Mission on
Parliament Street - an excellent viewing point.
Good trade as usual for the local undertakers and
the coffin makers … business is booming. And all
the prostitutes, pimps and drug dealers loitering
round the city streets, waiting for business, and
waving their ASBOs at passing police cars. Tony
Blair’s relaxation of the pub drinking hours hasn’t
helped matters, as drunkenness is markedly on the
increase. The city’s bad litter problem pales into
insignificance.
And what is the Sheriff of Nottingham doing about
it? The only time I saw him was about three years
ago, when he opened Nottingham’s Goose Fair (dressed
in ceremonial costume). What are we paying him for?
Why doesn’t he get his act together and dress up like
Wyatt Earp, and swagger down the streets fully armed,
along with his deputies?
Perhaps Nottingham should be renamed as Dodge City?
Bring back hanging, I say, or "off with the goolies"!
posted by justin at 6:50 pm
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6 Comments:
People here seem to have forgotten the word goolies, though it was quite popular when I was a lad.
Next time I get asked to write a script for Viagra I'll make an enquiry about the goolies, and see what reaction I get!
you must live each day in absolute fear. do carry a gun, dear.
He came in. Said his libido had been low for years. I checked his past results, ordered by another doctor in the practice, about two years ago.
Below normal testosterone.
How are your goolies? I said.
What do you mean? I don't play with them much.
Are they the same size as always?
Yep.
OK - we'll do morning testosterone x 2 and if you are low the Pharmaceutical Benefits Scheme will subsidise Sustanon for you.
Reserve your seats at the
El Gringo Bar in Dodge City,
waiting for the fast draw
at High Noon???
Where are we? SA UK or the
Wild Wild West!
Wow Justin, sounds
frightening.
DRAGONFLY.
Well, all I can add is don't believe much of what you read in the press, especially statistics, which are often presented, made up or interpreted to back up someone's point of view.
I believe our Sheriff of Nottingham is one of the local councillors who is unpaid, and who turns up at certain events, to open them (like the Queen).
Zoe: good to hear from you - thanks for "dropping in".
well it certainly isn't Dodge City and there sure as hell is no Wyatt Earp there,,, but there should be!
Its the same in Brum Justin
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